© mighty god king

SPOILER ALERTS! Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: The Abridged Script:

CATE takes the skull and places it on a THRONE. It then turns into an ACTUAL ALIEN and makes her head explode. The ALIENS pile into a GIANT UFO and fly off into SPACE.

HARRISON FORD

Wow. Considering that the first movie revolved around a magical box made by God that melts faces when opened, it’s really astonishing that this movie managed to be so incredibly stupid by comparison.

JOHN HURT

I can’t believe that the crystal skull wanted you to return it to the city just so that aliens could have blown your head up. Those aliens are total assholes.

SHIA LABEOUF

Seriously, what kind of jerks would intentionally trick people into thinking they were going to get something awesome, but then give them something so awful it makes their brains melt instead?

GEORGE LUCAS AND STEVEN SPIELBERG

Rich jerks! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

END

Did I mention this movie was terrible?

Wired.com reports:

Earlier this week, YouTube pulled the plug on funnyman and media artist Santeri Ojala, whose hilarious and popular “shredding” videos poke fun at the world’s great guitar players.

Three complaints of copyright infringement were reported, and as per how YouTube deems a “repeat offender”, YouTube took the videos down. Intrepid businessmen that they are, Wired is now hosting all the videos on its Wired Video site.

Anyway, Ojala poked fun by dubbing his own bad guitar playing over videos of the guitar greats, from Yngwie Malmsteen with Japan’s Philharmonic to Steve Vai live in Denver. Somehow, that loses its oomph after the first one or two examples; popular these “Shredded to a Pulp” videos may have been, but their deletion is not such a loss for humor lovers.

Luckily, has yet to yell at YouTube to take down the John Petrucci Psycho Exercises:

Years ago (back in August 2007), Cadbury released a very strange advertisement to promote (?) their Cadbury Dairy Milk brand of chocolate bar. The company clearly hoped to turn the video into a piece of viral advertising, but I can’t say it ever really took off. There is a point on the Internet Spectrum of Strange at which something just fades away into the background.

Nonetheless, for you intrepid adventurers who managed to care enough to watch the Cadbury advertisement, Wonderbra has released a parody of the Cadbury ad. On the surface, the ad is simply a tit…illating piece with a little bit of humor at the end. Strange, but nothing that can’t be ignored with a few shots of the drummer’s cups of joy. Watch the original Cadbury ad, though, and we have us a nice example of hypersignification.

Also, I commend Wonderbra for doing their damnedest to find a model strikingly similar to Chan Marshall. (Okay, Chan has a bit more beautiful in her.)

(And if you don’t “get” the title, see James Kochalka’s Monkey vs. Robot.)

In the ever-loveable tradition of LOLcats comes a new breed of evil: LOLMetal.