Take a movie scene, add a completely inappropriate soundtrack, and ruin the scene:

Well, ripersnifler might have just turned 2001 into the greatest music video, but you get the idea. It started on Something Awful, Kottke has a few more, and YouTube has them all.

WATCHMEN TRAILER MARCH 2009 OMG PONIES

Watch it in HD over at Apple Trailers.

Great thread over at Ask Metafilter about actors going overboard.

Famously, Dustin Hoffman kept himself up for days and made a wreck of himself to play his part in “Marathon Man.” When Laurence Olivier saw the state he was in, he said, “Next time, try acting.”

The full version of Pixar’s animated short “Presto” that precedes Wall-E in theaters. Great little short about a rabbit dealing with his pet magician because he’s not being properly fed.

SPOILER ALERTS! Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: The Abridged Script:

CATE takes the skull and places it on a THRONE. It then turns into an ACTUAL ALIEN and makes her head explode. The ALIENS pile into a GIANT UFO and fly off into SPACE.

HARRISON FORD

Wow. Considering that the first movie revolved around a magical box made by God that melts faces when opened, it’s really astonishing that this movie managed to be so incredibly stupid by comparison.

JOHN HURT

I can’t believe that the crystal skull wanted you to return it to the city just so that aliens could have blown your head up. Those aliens are total assholes.

SHIA LABEOUF

Seriously, what kind of jerks would intentionally trick people into thinking they were going to get something awesome, but then give them something so awful it makes their brains melt instead?

GEORGE LUCAS AND STEVEN SPIELBERG

Rich jerks! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

END

Did I mention this movie was terrible?

Das Rad is a German animated short chronicling the history of mankind…from the perspective of a couple of rocks.

Pulp Shakespeare:

ACT I SCENE 2. A road, morning. Enter JULES and VINCENT, murderers.

V: And know’st thou what the French name cottage pie?
J: Say they not cottage pie, in their own tongue?
V: But nay, their tongues, for speech and taste alike
Are strange to ours, with their own history:
Gaul knoweth not a cottage from a house.
J: What say they then, pray?
V: Hachis Parmentier.
J: Hachis Parmentier! What name they cream?
V: Cream is but cream, only they say la crème.
J: What do they name black pudding?
V: I know not;
I visited no inn it could be bought.

More here and here.

My fellow abbot whom I’m soon to break.
My drainage hath consumed your whole milkshake.

The New Yorker’s Anthony Lane with a less-than-favorable review of Sex and the City, which is getting similar reviews across the board.

The women in “Sex and the City,” by that standard, are little better than also-rans, and their gallops of conspicuous consumption seem oddly joyless, as displacement activities tend to be. “When Samantha couldn’t get off, she got things,” Carrie says. Look at the beam in your own eye, sister. Mr. Big not only buys her a penthouse apartment (“I got it”), he offers to customize the space for her shoes and other fetishes. “I can build you a better closet,” he says, as if that were a binding condition of their sexual harmony: if he builds it, she will come.

Dear Hollywood: STOP TRYING TO KILL ROBERT DOWNEY JR.!

Downey has noted that his recreational drug use in the 1980s did not spiral into a full-blown debilitating addiction until he played an addict in Less Than Zero. As the star recently told Starpulse, “Until that movie I took my drugs after work and on the weekends. That changed on Less Than Zero. The role was like the ghost of Christmas Future. I became an exaggeration of the character.” Downey’s subsequent addiction resulted in arrests, incarceration, and the near-demise of his acting career. Nobody wants anything like that to happen again, right?

And yet Downey’s next roles included injured on a ton of painkillers in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Substance D abuser in A Scanner Darkly, drug and alcohol abuser in Zodiac, alcoholic in Charlie Bartlett, and finally alcoholic again in Iron Man.

Seriously, guys: Please cut it out. Downey is a terrific actor and seems to be a nice guy. Find him a role as a yoga instructor or the owner of a health food store. Let him play a vegan FBI agent or a Seventh Day Adventist shock jock. Make him Captain Frickin’ America. But this has got to stop.

(If only here was not so good at these roles, you know?)

New Dark Knight trailer:

New York Times Sunday Magazine interview with Morgan Spurlock, director of Super Size Me:

What about “Super Size Me,” your foray into the world of fast food and weight gain. Didn’t that make a fortune?

Yeah, I’m a hundredaire. It’s still a documentary film.

Why did no one tell me Ben Stiller is directing a film with blackface?

Robert Downey Jr. plays Kirk Lazarus, a very serious Oscar-winning actor cast in the most expensive Vietnam War film ever. Problem is, Lazarus’s character, Sgt. Osiris, was originally written as black. So Lazarus decides to dye his skin and play Osiris, um, authentically.

”If it’s done right, it could be the type of role you called Peter Sellers to do 35 years ago,” Downey says. ”If you don’t do it right, we’re going to hell.”

Rewind Kindly - Inspired by Be Kind Rewind, Austin based Filmmaking Frenzy is putting on a contest for people to “complete an up-to-five-minute, homemade, low-budget remake of a popular hollywood film”. Much love to Star Wars.

The Appeal of the MacBook Air - John Gruber proselytizes for the MacBook Air a bit more, comparing it to a sexy convertible coupe (not unlike the iPod Mini or Nano). I pretty much agree with Gruber, and am still surprised that there is a strong group of people who foresee the MacBook Air failing. Would I buy it? No. But it is a good machine for a lot of people besides me. (Then again, this is a lot more than $50 we’re talking about; analogies only go so far.)

Things I have learned from mostly linkblogging for more than 10 years - Ben Tesch has been speaking to my heart lately with all of his ideas.

It makes sense that a video post and a photo post and an audio post look different, but why is there only one type of text post? Why is a Tweet handled in the same way as a 2,000-word essay? Where is the book or movie review type? Jason has done this kind of stuff for years, and had to manage entire multiple blogs just to do it. Why can’t I take a feed, create a new post template specifically for it, and plug the feed into it? And if I can, why is it so difficult?

Alltop.com - Like popurls.com except organized by topic. Click a topic and find the newest stories from at least thirty related sites. For example, click Science and get the top stories from New Scientist, Nature, New York Times, ABC, and more. Or in their own words:

We help you explore your passions by collecting stories from “all the top” sites on the web. We’ve grouped these collections—”aggregations”—into individual Alltop sites based on topics such as celebrity gossip, fashion, gaming, sports, politics, automobiles, and Macintosh. At each Alltop site, we display the latest five stories from thirty or more sites on a single page.

In honor of the recently departed Groundhog Day (February 2), I would like to dwell for a moment on a film that with a premise as absurd as the holiday itself: Groundhog Day with the dashing Bill Murray.

Though lasting a mere 101 minutes, the film follows Murray as he repeats the same day an almost immeasurable amount of times over. Exact numbers are still out of reach, but some crafty sleuth work by Jamie Zawinski sets the span at a minimum of FOUR YEARS. (The director, for what it’s worth, puts it at about ten years.)

# How long does it take to learn ice sculpture, if that’s all you do? Six months? A year?

# How long does it take to become a good piano player, if you begin in your early 40s when you have your first lesson? Concensus among those present at casa del jwz was “at least two years.”

Mind numbing.

More contemporary (and inspired no doubt by the film the United States National Film Registry thought fit to deem “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant”), Jason Biggs stars in a comedy short entitled “The Glitch”. Bill Murray should be thanking the flying spaghetti monster he got to repeat an entire day.

Last week, Warner Bros proclaimed its support of Blu-ray over HD DVD. Some still see hope for HD DVD, but CNET is doubtful. Their Blu-ray vs HD DVD guide now has an editor’s note, saying, “Because of the recent news that Warner Bros. Entertainment will be exclusively supporting Blu-ray, CNET recommends refraining from purchasing an HD DVD player in the near future.”

Of course, who cares about the mainstream movie studios?. What really drives the wonderful format industry is pornography. The porn industry’s support of HD DVD last year seemed to spell doom for Blu-ray, but with major porn companies now producing DVDs in both formats, the end of the war is still up in the air.

Still, I don’t think anyone watching porn in high definition on their 50″ LCD TV will have much to complain about for long.