A chart showing every instance of the phrase “is the new” from various sources. Confused? “____ is the new black” is a snowclone catchphrase from 2005 “used to indicate the sudden popularity or versatility of an idea at the expense of the popularity of a second idea.” My favorite? i is the new e. Har har har.

2008 Update: Barack Obama is your new bicycle!

A new month has begun, and with it comes some wonderful tidings from the internet. AT&T being sued, a major label fighting the RIAA, 240k credit card numbers released, depressing songs… that sort of thing.

According to a new book, broadband ISPs have cheated citizens out of $200 billion. Furthermore, broadband companies are pushing for a two-tiered internet, especially AT&T CEO Ed Whitacre. And that’s not all AT&T is in the news for. A civil liberties group has filed a lawsuit against AT&T for collaborating with the NSA eavesdropping. (Is it sad that Wired and MTV news have the best articles on the subject?)

Another article discusses how America has “the slowest, most expensive and least reliable [broadband] in the developed world.”

If anyone is wondering how America is doing, whitehouse.gov has posted a transcript of the State of the Union.

Attention all Massachusetts residents! Two Massachusetts newspapers accidentally sent out papers containing the credit card data of almost 240,000 subscribers. You see what recycling has done to this country?

I think now is a good time for some humor: The Lego Suicides.

And now is a good time for science and philosophy: “Do not take the lecture too seriously . . . just relax and enjoy it. I am going to tell you what nature behaves like. If you will simply admit that maybe she does behave like this, you will find her a delightful, entrancing thing. Do not keep saying to yourself “But how can it be like that?” because you will get . . . into a blind alley from which nobody has yet escaped. Nobody knows how it can be like that.” — Richard Feynman

Joining the battle against the RIAA is Canada’s biggest record label, Nettwerk Music Group. They will fund the legal defense for a family being sued by the RIAA. It’s refreshing to hear a label say, “Suing the fan makes no sense. Litigation is destructive; we’re a creative community, not a destructive one.”

Also refreshing is learning what Atari did with all those unsold E.T. video games, to the tune of a nice little music video.

gethuman.com is a website dedicated to helping you get in touch with a real person when calling customer service. Check out the cheats for the secret talk-to-a-human numbers for hundreds of companies.

Tom Reynolds, author of the upcoming book “I Hate Myself and Want to Die: The 52 Most Depressing Songs You’ve Ever Heard”, has written a special for The Seattle Times discussing some of his humorous legal woes involved with writing the book.

“It’s painful how sexy I look in this.”

Fear of Girls – True love is but a +2 broadsword away.

And, once again, John Stewart provides a hilarious comparison between Oprah Winfrey and conventional journalism.