Posted on May 28, 2008
in Undressing the Internet,
art, funny, the best things in life are free
The Quest For Every Beard Type
I’ve been growing a beard every winter for some years now, and every spring, I try to see how many facial hair variations as I can check off from the chart of facial hair types. Listed below are descriptions of the 34 facial hair types from the chart, including examples of the 24 variations that I’ve been able to attain so far.
My idol? He takes the Octobeard to a new level of awesomeness.
(specifically CO2 Emissions)
While earlier this year China over took the US as the number one CO2 emitter, we are still 5 to 6 times the polluters as those bike-riding rice eaters in per captia terms. Take that you bamboo huggers.
Sure G.W. brought the dollar back to the value when his dad was in office, but America is home to the richest man in the world. So what if his dollars aren’t worth all that much, he still has a whole lot of them. It’s like having a really big Pog collection.
So China has US beat as the country that executes the most people per a year but who wants to deal with all that bureaucracy [communism] when you can have your citizens do the killing for you! For years now, the US has been leading the world in production of serial killers, which also doubles as viable income for lazy screenwriters.
With all those killers roaming our streets, no wonder we have the most lawyers per capita with 1 lawyer for every 265 Americans.
While we only come in as the 9th fattest country, behind Kuwait and Palau, we can still pride ourselves on creating the World’s Best Sandwich, and in New Jersey nonetheless. The Fat Darrell: Chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, and French fries crammed onto a roll and covers in marinara sauce. OK, ok, so it was only ranked number 1 sandwich in America, but so what? We’re fucking America, does any where else really matter?
Green Porno – a feverishly hilarious look at sex in the natural world. I am especially partial toward the spider shenanigans; who knew I had sex the same way as in the insect kingdom?
Final Opening Day at Shea (live blog): 4:03 PM: To add insult to injury, Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” is indeed the eighth inning sing-a-long tune.
April Fool’s Day on the Web: 2008 – My dead hard drive wasn’t so funny, but some of the pranks up so far are superb. YouTube UK has some pretty great Featured Videos worth checking out. And it’s no time machine, but Google finally let’s us search into the future and send emails yesterday.
Anyone visiting Chicago soon would do well to check with Google Street View for some of the city’s best street vendors. Similarly, Google lets you see the cosmos, camels, secret race tracks, the moon (now hiring), Mars, and other strange sights.
Why are people always stealing my ideas? Like penis in vagina sex. MY IDEA.
And other funny ridiculous statements from TheBoyfriend.
