Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch
by Jim Norton
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Released: 2007
Grade: B+
[[ buy it @ amazon ]]
To give you an idea of how much of an acquired taste Jim Norton might be to some, several reviews of his new book on Amazon.com make reference to him dying recently of AIDS. Norton, at least as of this writing, is perfectly healthy. These reviews were written not maliciously, but lovingly by Norton fans and fans of The Opie and Anthony Show, of which Norton is the third member.
Norton, in addition to being one of the funniest stand-ups working, was also on HBO’s Lucky Louie, and was a regular on Comedy Central’s Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. If you take your comedy a bit raunchy, Norton is always a gem. On the surface some of these essays are about nothing, and, in the hands of most comedians who have written books, they would be. But Norton is hilarious in everything he does (listen to him on the radio, see his stand-up, view his MySpace page). For example, here is a sampling of Norton’s answers to typical MySpace survey questions:
Current Location: closer to a grammar school than allowed by law
Your Weakness: an invalid laying sideways with her mouth open
Do you get Motion Sickness: only when riding fat girls
Are you a Health Freak: I take my AZT cocktails every day
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: why would I eat a box full of black people who act white?
Happy Endings will either completely disgust you or you will get a headache from laughing. The title of Norton’s book refers to his penchant for erotic massages and ladies of the evening, and, indeed, Norton’s honesty is often touching: from the first chapter titled “Here Goes Nothing,” which begins, “Well, this is my first little entry. I am voluntarily writing a diary; I am now officially a fat girl”; to his sincere affection for his fellow comedian friends; to his inclusion and critique of a letter he wrote to a girlfriend as a teen.
I told a friend who asked if the book was any good to just read the “Pumpkin: A Love Story” chapter in a bookstore. If you don’t want to buy it then, you’ll certainly sit down and read some more. There are plenty of funny tales from the road; quests to get photos with celebrities like Joe Pesci, Gene Simmons and Alan Alda; and several hilarious sitcom and movie ideas. Happy Endings also includes not one, but two forwards by Colin Quinn, the first of which begins, “Jim Norton is as ass.”
Opie and Anthony fans will thrill at the stories behind Monster Rain and the Voyeur Bus incident and seeing photos of a young Jimmy Norton. Fans and casual readers alike will discover that Norton is quite a fiction writer. The “Pumpkin” chapter works as a hilarious short story. Would The New Yorker have published it? Of course not, it’s utterly reprehensible.
Norton’s writing style is both funny and multifaceted, what with his Lacey Peterson and Andrea Yates references and generous use of the C-word juxtaposed with his use of silly phrases such as “make like a banana and split” and “honest Injun.” Farts play a major role throughout the book, as does what some may consider bad taste in general, from his comparing the act of masturbation to Christ on the cross, to explaining how Mexicans are created.
But what makes Norton’s humor appealing, and different from many others in print and on stage and radio, is his tendency towards self-deprecating humor. Though with Norton it’s far more than a tendency, hence the subtitle of the book and instances like his description of a photo of himself in MC Hammer pants as looking like “Grimace with AIDS.”
You can hear Jim Norton on The Opie and Anthony Show every weekday morning in radio syndication and XM Satellite Radio. For his book tour and stand-up dates, visit his MySpace page at www.myspace.com/jimnorton.
by Michael Frissore