Internet Addiction?
So it's recently come to my attention that there exists a disorder called "internet addiction." Internet addiction? What could that possibly be? Is there any chance I have it? To ease my worrying and to try to figure out if I qualified as an internet addict, I hopped on the computer and did a Google searched. Googled that shit, if you will.
The first site that came up in the list was www.netaddiction.com. "Offers resources that deal with internet addiction, as well as offers tips on cyber-wellness," the caption read. It seemed promising, so I clicked on the link. Well, I don't know if it was the browser (Firefox) or the website, but it took too damn long to load. Impatient, I logged onto Facebook and checked out those crazy photo albums they've got now. Only one person had updated with pictures I hadn't already seen, so, disappointed, I returned to my Google search.
The site I pulled up was stellar. It even had an "Internet Addiction Test" with questions like, "how often do you prefer the excitement of the Internet to intimacy with your partner?" and "how often do you block out disturbing thoughts about your life with soothing thoughts of the Internet?" While in the middle of taking the test, I realized that my iTunes music had switched to an artist I had already played too much, and I definitely did not want people on Last.fm thinking the wrong things about my musical tastes. I paused to change to a different artist I hadn't played in a while. Whew. Hipster cred, preserved.
Finally, I finished taking the test. Fearing my results, I was surprised to see that I had received a score of 41, which was average. The helpful little caption at the bottom said, "you are an average on-line user. You may surf the Web a bit too long at times, but you have control over your usage." Thoroughly excited about this, I preceded to devote an entry to it in my Livejournal. I then took a picture of myself looking excited to upload to Facebook, Photobucket, DeviantArt, MySpace, WebShots, and whatever other online photo albums I have floating out there. I'm planning on posting it all over the internet, linking it in my AIM profile, leaving it in my away messages, and e-mailing it to friends, family members, and co-workers, with the caption: "GUESS WHAT EVERYONE? I'M NOT ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET!"
It'll take me until three in the morning to do all this; I'd betterget started now.
By the Kassernater.